


World enough and time

by fortytworedvines



Category: Holby City
Genre: F/F, Happy Ending, Mild Angst, canon compliant (for a day or two at least), future fix it fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-06-28 18:32:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19818091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fortytworedvines/pseuds/fortytworedvines
Summary: Bernie returns reluctantly to Holby for the birth of her granddaughter.





	World enough and time

“I’m so glad you’re here!”

Bernie stumbled backward with the force with which the young woman flung herself into her arms.

“Beth,” Bernie hugged her tightly and pushed her back to scan her face, “How’s it going?”

“Slow,” Beth grimaced, “She’s been asking for you. Come on.” She grabbed Bernie’s hand and pulled her through into the ward. A shockwave of memory passed through Bernie and she blinked. When she opened her eyes it was Charlotte lying on the bed.

“Charlie.”

“Mum,” Charlie heaved herself off the bed. Bernie held her tightly as Charlie buried her head into her shoulder. “Thank you for coming.”

“I wouldn’t be anywhere else,” Bernie said quietly.

“I… ahhh,” Charlie swayed on her feet, panting. Beth moved to her side, rubbing her back gently and coaxing her to breathe.

The contraction passed and Charlie smiled weakly. “She’s taking her time getting here.”

“You’re doing really well,” Bernie said encouragingly. “Can I get you anything? Water? A snack? Beth?”

Charlie shook her head but Beth nodded. “I’d love a coffee.”

“I’ll be quick,” Bernie promised.

She closed the ward door quietly behind her and turned down the corridor, almost bumping into somebody as she did so. She looked down into Fleur’s smiling eyes.

“Hi Bernie. Wondered if you’d turn up,” Fleur said with a grin. “How’s Charlie doing?”

“Slow going,” Bernie said. “She’s strong though.” She glanced down, away from Fleur’s knowing look. “It’s strange being back.”

Fleur patted her on the arm. “It’s good to see you.”

Bernie’s mood lightened despite herself. “It’s good to see you too.”

“Drink later? After it’s all over?”

“Are you asking me out, Ms Fanshawe?”

“Would you say yes if I was?”

“If you weren’t Serena’s friend,” Bernie said honestly; Fleur really was very pretty.

“Just friends then.”

Bernie smiled, “It’s not a date. I’d better run, I promised I’d be quick.”

Fleur smiled and moved aside to let her pass. “Bernie?” she called as Bernie reached the stairs. Bernie glanced back, eyebrow raised questioningly. “Does Serena know you’re here?”

Bernie swallowed and shook her head.

Bernie moved swiftly through the corridors, noting the occasional familiar face, until she came to Pulses. Thankfully the queue was short and she had two coffees bought in no time. She glanced at the pastries with a pang. _Serena._ She hadn’t thought she’d ever be back in this hospital, thoughts of Serena were less easily suppressed when every space held memories. Bernie turned away, concentrating her thoughts on her daughter, her daughter-in-law and, god willing, her granddaughter.

Charlotte’s eyes were closed as she panted. Beth sat next to her, rubbing her back while Bernie held her hand and let Charlotte squeeze it tight. “You’re doing so well darling,” Bernie whispered.

Charlotte relaxed as the contraction faded. “Never again,” she murmured. “Never.”

“Everybody says that,” Fleur said with a laugh as she appeared round the curtain. She examined Charlie quickly and nodded. “Five centimetres, we can take you through to delivery now. Only partners allowed Bernie, so be off with you.”

Bernie nodded, smiled tensely at Fleur. “Okay. Good luck.” She pressed a kiss to Charlie’s cheek. “I’ll see you when there’s three of you.”

Charlie was wheeled off and Bernie headed slowly back down to Pulses. She gazed down the corridor to AAU and wondered if Serena was working today. With a sigh, she carried on to the cafe and sat down with coffee and croissant,  picking the pastry apart slowly.  She’d wangled a decent amount of leave from her post to coincide with Charlie’s due date but she’d have to go back to Nairobi in a month. She loved her work, loved her life out there, and being back in the UK, back in Holby, was still so painful. But she’d missed Cam and Charlie growing up and now here she was, about to be a grandmother. Charlie and Beth might want her to stay. And, if she was honest, she wanted to see her granddaughter grow up, cuddle her and play with her and not be a distant figure seen only through skype calls.

The cafe grew busier but she didn’t recognise anybody. Maybe Serena didn’t work here any more. Maybe everybody had moved on.

All that remained of the croissant was crumbs when Fleur appeared. “Come on then Granny,” she smiled.

“What?” Bernie stood up hastily, “Already?”

“She didn’t want to hang around in the end.”

“Are they alright?”

“Mum and baby are doing just fine,” Fleur patted her arm reassuringly, “And Mummy is thrilled to bits and looking after them beautifully.”

Charlie was sitting on the bed cuddling a little bundle in her arms and Beth was looking at her so adoringly that Bernie’s heart constricted. How lucky Charlie was to have somebody who loved her this much. “Hello, you three,” she said quietly.

“Mum!” Charlie looked up, “Come and meet Samantha.”

Beth pulled her over to the bed and Bernie perched next to her daughter. “Samantha,” she said as she touched the baby’s cheek softly, “How lovely. How are you, darling?”

“I’m fine, mum,” Charlie said reassuringly. “Do you want to know her full name? She’s Samantha Berenice Smith-Dunn.”

“Oh no, Charlie. Really?”

“Yes! Why not?”

“Well, Berenice,” Bernie protested, “It’s a mouthful. Old fashioned.”

“We happen to like it,” Charlie said sternly, “Don’t we, Beth.”

Beth grinned. “Only natural to call her after her favourite grandmother.”

“Come on,” Fleur said as she pulled her coat on, “My shift’s over and it’s time you left these three to it. Come and have that drink.”

“Go on mum,” Charlie nodded, “We’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Okay then. Sleep well. You look after her, Beth.”

Fleur passed her her bag and they headed out of the ward, Bernie allowing herself one more backward glance at her daughter and granddaughter.

“You’re besotted,” Fleur teased her and Bernie shrugged and laughed.

“Can you blame me?”

“I suppose not. Albie’s ok?”

“I...” Bernie nibbled her lip. Albie’s held even more painful memories than the hospital.

“Time you laid your ghosts to rest?” Fleur suggested, and looped her arm through Bernie’s.

“You might be right,” Bernie acknowledged. She looked down at the neat dark head beside her and felt a sudden rush of affection. “Are you single?”

Fleur grinned, “Why, have you changed your mind?”

“Just seems a waste, is all,” Bernie muttered.

Fleur laughed delightedly, “Well, if it ever did happen we’d scorch the sheets, no mistake. But it can’t, I suppose.”

Albie’s was just as Bernie remembered, décor and all. “What are you drinking?” Fleur asked as she sat herself on a bar stool. “No, my treat,” she waved off Bernie’s protest, “Not every day you become a granny.”

“Whiskey, please. It sounds so old, doesn’t it.”

“Oh, I don’t know. You’re definitely a GILF.”

Bernie snorted a laugh, sipped her whiskey and enjoyed the tingle of fire  spreading through her body. “Cheers.”

“So what have you been up to then? Still in Nairobi?”

Bernie nodded. “Yeah. It’s good.”

“And… anybody sharing it with you?” Fleur raised an eyebrow.

“Not permanently, no.”

“Hmm.” Fleur shook her head. “Because of Serena?”

Bernie shrugged. “Nobody measures up to her. I’d rather be happy on my own than trying to recreate something I can’t have.”

“I never understood why you didn’t fight for her. I would have done.” Bernie frowned and Fleur sipped her drink delicately. “Just saying.”

“She broke up with me twice in six months. I can take a hint, Fleur.” Bernie cradled her drink, remembering their last conversation. She looked sidelong at Fleur. “Can I tell you something?”

“Go on.”

“When Charlie told me she was pregnant, I was scared.”

“Why?”

“What Serena said, when she broke up with me. About me not being somebody she could imagine pushing a swing. I want to be a good grandmother, I really do, but maybe it’s just not in me. I don’t know.”

“Oh _Bernie_ ,” Fleur patted her arm sympathetically, “You’ll be fantastic.”

“I wish you could have told Serena that five years ago.”

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry,” a new voice sounded.

Bernie jumped and twisted round to see Serena standing behind her, looking at her uncertainly. Bernie drank her in greedily, her grey hair shot through with highlights and her piercing eyes and the pendant at her neck that she was twisting nervously.

“Serena,” Bernie said quietly.

“I think that’s my cue to leave,” Fleur said, picking up her drink and hopping off the bar stool. “I’ll leave you two to it.”

“I hear congratulations are in order,” Serena said when the silence had become deafening.

“Yes, thank you. Charlie’s first.” Bernie gestured to the vacated stool. “Joining me?”

S erena sat down and Bernie ordered her a Shiraz. “I  guess you’re still drinking the stuff?”

“It hasn’t been that long, Bernie.”

Bernie looked away. “I take it I have Fleur to thank for this?”

“Would you… would you rather I went?”

“No,” Bernie sighed, “Stay. How are you?”

“Fine,” Serena replied, too quickly. “You?”

“Yes. Fine.” Silence stretched again. Bernie’s nerves prickled with the closeness of Serena’s body. She twirled her glass slowly on the counter. “You broke my heart,” she blurted out suddenly, quietly.

“I’m sorry,” the reply was barely a whisper. “If it’s any consolation, I broke mine too.”

Bernie laughed shortly. “Not really.”

“I didn’t really think that, you know. I was… scared. Looking for a reason to push you away.”

“Why?” Bernie’s voice was hoarse and she still wasn’t looking at Serena.

“I thought you’d leave me. Easier to end it on my terms.”

Bernie finally looked up, saw the tears swimming in Serena’s eyes. “You could have just talked to me.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying that!” Bernie’s voice rose. She jumped off the bar stool. “This was a mistake. Goodbye, Serena.” She pushed her way through the crowd, ignored Serena’s anguished cry of “Bernie!”

“Morning,” Bernie said softly as she slipped into the chair by Charlie’s bed and held out a huge helium balloon. 

“Morning,” Charlie said, looking bemused at the balloon. “Thanks?”

“How’re you feeling?”

“Sore,” Charlie smiled ruefully. “Oh, Beth!”

“Coffee,” Beth passed a cup to Charlie, who took it gratefully.

“Do you want the chair?” Bernie half-stood.

“No, you’re ok.” Beth picked her daughter out of the crib and cradled her softly. “She’s so gorgeous. Do you want a cuddle, Bernie?”

“Oh, could I?” Bernie smiled as Beth passed the small bundle over to her. “Hello, little one.” Her eyes filled with tears as she looked at the little girl.

“Are you alright mum?”

“I can’t get emotional about my first grandchild?” Bernie didn’t take her eyes from the baby.

“Mum… What’s happened?”

“I saw Serena last night,” Bernie admitted as she inspected one tiny hand.

“Oh mum.”

“She kept saying she was sorry. Five years too late.”

Charlie patted Bernie’s shoulder. “What did you say?”

“I shouted at her and ran away,” Bernie said ruefully. “It was just too much, yesterday.”

“Do you want to see her again?”

“Why don’t we concentrate on this little thing? Let’s not talk about… her.”

“Okay mum.”

At afternoon visiting hours Bernie arrived on the ward clutching a large bouquet of flowers. She edged around the curtains surrounding Charlie’s bed and stopped short. Sitting next in the visitor’s chair, talking earnestly and quietly, was Serena.

“I’ll… I’ll come back later,” Bernie said, retreating hastily.

“No mum, wait,” Charlie said.

Bernie felt a presence behind her and then a gentle pressure on her shoulders and Beth pushed her forward, sat her neatly on the bed.

“We figured this was a good time for a new start,” Charlie said as Beth helped her out of bed. “I need a walk, so we’re off. Look after Sam. And _talk.”_

Sam whimpered and Bernie leaned forward to pick her up, cuddled her granddaughter into her, murmuring soothingly and avoiding looking at Serena.

“Bernie,” Serena said quietly, “I -”

“ _Don’t_ say you’re sorry again,” Bernie said harshly.

“I made a mistake. I was scared and stupid and I have regretted it so much. I’ve missed you, Bernie.”

“I’ve missed you too,” Bernie admitted after a moment.

“How are you? How’ve you been?”

“Oh, you know, busy.” Bernie looked up from the baby, caught the hint of a smile edging Serena’s mouth. She couldn’t help smiling in response.

“Can I – can I meet her?” Serena asked. Bernie nodded, held the baby out to her. Serena took her carefully. “Oh Bernie, she’s beautiful. You must be so proud.”

“I am,” Bernie said simply.

“Charlie and Beth seem a lovely couple.”

“They’re good for each other,” Bernie said after a moment, “Complement each other, like...”

“Like we used to. Before.”

“Before,” Bernie nodded.

“I’ve been in therapy,” Serena said as she studied the baby, “I just wanted you to know that.”

Bernie laughed slightly. “Me too.”

“Oh look, she’s waking up.”

Bernie leant in to see. “Such blue eyes.”

“I wonder if they’ll change.”

Bernie looked up, was startled to find she was a mere inch away from Serena.

“Hi,” Serena said softly.

“Serena...”

“When are you going back?”

“I – I thought I might stay,” Bernie stroked the baby’s cheek, “Get to know this one. Be granny.”

“Oh.” Bernie could feel Serena trembling. “Fancy dinner? Tonight?”

Bernie swallowed. “Okay.”

The curtains surrounding the bed were drawn back with a flourish. “Just checking on -” Fleur came to an abrupt halt as she surveyed the scene. “Well, if it isn’t my two favourite idiots. Sorted things out, have you?”

“We’re getting there,” Bernie said. “Charlie’s gone for a walk, she won’t be long.”

“Good. Now, I’ve got a minute to spare and I’d like a cuddle with the cutest baby on the ward.” Serena passed her the baby, but didn’t move away from Bernie and Bernie let their fingers touch each other, just a hint of connection between them.

“I really am pleased,” Fleur said as she jiggled the baby gently. “The universe feels right again now.”

“I suppose I should say thank you,” Bernie said reluctantly, “For letting Serena know I was here.”

Fleur grinned. “I’ll have a nice bottle of wine, thanks. Serena, don’t you have a ward to be getting back to?”

“I do,” Serena sighed, and stood slowly. “Bernie, I’ll meet you at Albies at seven?”

Bernie caught Serena’s hand and kissed it. “It’s a date.”

**Author's Note:**

> Berena fix it: birth  
> Written in the hope that this will remain canon-compliant after the next two weeks. Also I quite like Fleur - can you tell?!


End file.
